Am I Stupid, Crazy, or Just an Easy Mark?
Last Friday, I went to get a pedicure. While I was in the salon, my friend called and left me a voice-mail. When I was finished with my pedicure, I stepped outside near the mailbox by Publix to return her phone call and have a smoke before I went grocery-shopping.
My friend and I only talked for about 2 minutes, so I stood there to finish my cigarette and daydream (my feet were tingly, I was very relaxed, and it was a beautiful day). Shortly, I noticed a young man on a bicycle. He approached me and asked, “Could you spare a cigarette?”
Me, sort of dumbfounded, “Uh, sure, yes.” I reached into my purse to give him one. Rather than leave on his bicycle, he continued, “Do you know if there are any shelters around here?” as he motioned in the direction of the apartments across from Wendy’s.
I told him that I didn’t know of any assistance programs in this area, and asked, “Why do you need a shelter? Where are your parents?”
“My name is Nathan”, he proffered a handshake, and I accepted it with reservation. “I moved here from California with my girlfriend after being dishonorably discharged from the Marines.” He looked down, then looked me in the eye, “I wouldn’t follow orders, and the Marines don’t tolerate disobedience.”
He continued his story, “My mom is (I can’t remember now) and my dad is incarcerated in the State of California. My girlfriend (I can’t remember that now either) and we were evicted from our apartment. I don’t have any place to stay. I’m going for a job interview at Wendy’s at 3:30.”
I apologized for not knowing any sort of community organizations to help him, but I told him, “I’ve only got a small bit of cash, and you can have these ($4 and 4 cigarettes). I’m sorry I only know how to rescue dogs. Here’s my card if you need any other help” and I gave him one of my newly-printed cards with my phone number on it.
Something about Nathan made me care and want to help him. I’ve thought about him several times since then, but since I hadn’t heard from him, I just hoped he was OK.
At 2:04 today I got a phone call from a local number, but it was unfamiliar to me. It was Nathan calling from the In-Town Suites Extended Stay nearby.
I asked, “How are you Nathan? Did you get the job at Wendy’s?”
He replied, “Yes, I did, and I start work tomorrow.”
Me, “Where have you been staying?”
Nathan, “I’m at this hotel, and I asked if I could use the phone to call you, but I’ve been sleeping at The Park.”
Me, “Have you eaten?”
Nathan, “Yes, I ate last night…”
Me, “Well, I just put a frozen pizza in the oven. How about I bring you some?”
Nathan, “How long do you think it will take?”
I told him that I’d just heated the oven, so it was going to take me at least an hour to meet him at The Park.
I cut the pizza (after eating 3 tiny pieces myself) wrapped it in foil, then started thinking, “What else do we have on-hand here that he could eat?”
I scrounged through our cupboards and made a care-package of Uncle Ben’s Ready Rice, a foil-pack of tuna, the 3 applesauce packs in the fridge, some of the plastic utensils and napkins I keep in the kitchen-drawer, a pack of cigarettes, and my last $20.
As I was getting these things together, I realized that I was alone, and I didn’t have anyone to go with me to meet him.
I thought about stopping at the City Police Station, but I didn’t/don’t want to get him into trouble with the law. All I could think about was the real-life nightmare that my family lived through not so long ago.
Since it was daylight, I decided to forgo the police and take a spin over to the park to look for Nathan. As I entered the big parking lot on The Parkway, a City Police cruiser pulled in behind me and followed me. I felt relief to know the police routinely patrol the park. Since I didn’t see Nathan, I went back around the “block” again. I reentered the parking lot about 10 minutes later, and there he was.
He had a big smile on his face once he recognized me. I lifted the bag out of my partially-lowered window (my purse beneath my legs, phone in my pocket, and the doors locked). As he took the bag, I told him, “Next time, I’ll meet you at Zaxby’s and treat you to a good meal.” Nathan looked cold, but he wore jacket. I was relieved about that because I was looking for something to keep him warm at night and couldn’t find anything in our closets.
Nathan smiled and said, “Thank you.”
I watched out of my rear-view mirror as he disappeared back into a wooded area of the park, and I drove back home.
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I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, and I would do everything you are doing except give cash. Do be careful though! I wouldn’t go alone because even being on high alert doesn’t always give you time to split a sticky situation! Even if he is a con, you are setting an example of kindness which he may eventually learn from.
Beth, I think you’re right about not giving him cash, and I won’t go alone again either. It’s just too risky, and I was very uneasy yesterday. Thank you for your sound advice.
You’ve got a kind heart, and that’s not stupid, crazy, or an easy mark. Just be careful.
Tug´s last blog ..The rest of the story…
Tug, I will be very careful. Thank you!
You are amazing, Geeky.
I love you!
That is so nice of you to say that, thank you. I love you too, my dear!
Love this post.
We don’t see a lot of homeless people in our suburb, but there used to be a woman who sat in the bus stop shelter in front of the nearest grocery store. Any time we stopped at McDonald’s or grabbed some groceries, we would bring her something. I’ll never forget when I asked my then 14yo son to bring it over to her, and he came back with tears in his eyes, silent as we drove away. I reached over and squeezed his hand and he just said, “That felt *so* amazing.”
Ours is an affluent suburb too, and we don’t see the “real” world here much. I’m so glad you were able to teach your son the way you did. Your story really touched my heart.
Not an easy mark – you have an awesome heart. There needs to be more people like you.
Now if he starts calling you asking to use your house as a meth lab, well then he’s a douche. But I think you did the right thing.
Robin´s last blog ..Randomnicities
Hey, I’m not gonna share my Sudafed with anyone!
You’re an angel. : )
An angel with lots of friends who love you and want you to be safe.
Kim´s last blog ..Thirteen.
Oh, thank you Kim. I want to be safe too, that’s why I posted this entry. I’ve never been in a situation quite like this before.
Well… I’m so glad this worked out for you this time, and I hope that it can end as just one random act of kindness. There really is no better feeling than knowing you are helping someone who really needs and appreciates it. Unfortunately you are right in your fear and I have first hand knowledge of con’s and I still want to help in spite of it. It just feels better living in a world where we can trust. I just fear that my daughter who loves to help blindly, will learn to be as aware and alert as you are… Thank you for such a great example of what this world truly needs more of, your compassion is commendable.
I’m glad you still want to help others even though your daughter was scammed by a con. Do you think she learned anything from her experience? It’s one thing to help a person who is having a tough time, but it’s quite another to be an enabler — something I don’t want to do with Nathan.
You are an incredibly sweet and altruistic person – anyone who’s met you has known this for a long time!
It sounds like you’re being careful, which is good, but don’t let him escalate his requests (even if it doesn’t feel like he asked anything – that’s what someone who’s good at manipulating does). And maybe swinging by Wendy’s to talk to the manager to see if he really works there would be a good idea too, if you continue to hear from him.
Avitable´s last blog ..People I want to be
Adam, thank you for your kind words, it means a lot to me. If I hear from him again, I will definitely check with the management at Wendy’s before I do anything else. I don’t want to be manipulated by him.
… what everyone else said. You are awesome.
shiny´s last blog ..28 Days Later
Aww, Shiny you are awesome too!
You’re an angel, my dear. Just be aware and be cautious. xo
Finn´s last blog ..Diptych Sixteen: Abundance
The cool thing is, that all of you are angels too! Thank you, Finn.
You have a kind heart, much more so than most people in this world.
Thank you, my friend!
Was there this huge lapse between this post and the last one?
Anyway, that guy might be relatively harmless, or he might not, but either way, he smells like a con to me. Just my two cents.
Roy´s last blog ..It’s That Time Again
Roy, yes there has been a huge lapse between posts. I just haven’t had much worthy of sharing on here lately.
If it’s crazy or stupid, you’re in good company.
Dave2´s last blog ..01/20: MIRROR
Dave2, it’s good to know I’m not alone!
You’re a good person.
Jessica ´s last blog ..And Then Ill Shut Up About It
Yeah, I know I am real late to this party, but seriously? This was such a beautiful story. You are so wonderful. You said, you only know how to rescue dogs. Ha! Proved yourself wrong! You know how to save a life, a spirit, a soul.
And you sure as hell know how to make my day.
This was amazing. You aren’t a mark or an easy target. You are a blessing to this young man. Even if he were playing you, which I do not believe he is, that is for him to deal with on judgment day. The way I see it, you earned your good karma. You did what your heart led you to believe what was right. If he was honest with you, then joy will come to him. If he wasn’t, then the karmic retribution the world always seeks will bite him in the ass eventually. But that is not YOUR burden. You did the right, kind and decent thing based on his story, which you took to be truth.
That’s all that matters. You proactively reacted to his version of truth. That is a really beautiful thing.
CP
CP´s last blog ..Further proof that no good deed goes unpunished
Thank you so much, CP!